A quote from my good friend Floyd:
"If you have apostolic passion, you are one of the most dangerous people on the planet. The world no longer rules your heart. You are n longer seduced by getting and gaining but devoted to spreading and proclaiming the glory of God in the nations. You live as a pilgrim, unattached to the cares of this world. You are not afraid of loss. You even dare to believe that you may be given the privilege of dying to spread His fame on the earth. The Father's passions have become your passions. You find your satisfaction and significance in Him. You believe that He is with you always, to the end of life itself. You are sold out to God, and you live for the Lamb. Satan fears you, and the angels applaud you..You have apostolic passion!" - Floyd McClung
Hm. I think this may be what my generation is searching for. But, in the way of Chris McCandleless, we have tried to abandon society in an attempt to find worth and happiness. The answer isn't in refusing to be like 'the rest of society'. The answer is in becoming so like Christ and entering into the societies of this world as a pilgrim.
Hm.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
the King's Banquet
Last Monday, before Thanksgiving break, our school took part in a pretty major outreach in Minneapolis dubbed 'the King's Banquet' (Luke 14:12-24). We were all given roles for the evening. I was initially placed as a server, but switched to a table host the day of. Below is my testimony that I sent in to the group that put this on. I didn't have time to rewrite something for this blog, but I wanted to let you all in to my experience with this outreach. (I loved it, if that's no surprise!)
I sat in the far back corner, upstairs, waiting for my guests to arrive. From my vantage point, I had a pretty good view of the wall and the tables immediately to my left and thats about it. First to the table came Rich. Richard is a law student in his 50's that has been unemployed, and taking advantage of the food services offered at Dorothy Day since 2008. He is a devout Catholic who just seemed a little lonely. I enjoyed talking with him about legal studies and Ireland. Next to the table came Ron. Ron is pretty far on the other side of the spectrum from Rich. He is addicted to booze and has the goal to enter a wet-house and continue his lifestyle. Another host came to join our table so the ratio became one on one. As conversation continued, it became clear that these men had little in common. It was difficult to engage both of them at once, but once the talking started we let them listen to the message as we prayed silently over them. I could see instantly how both of these men seemed to shut down when the talking started. Ron put on his jacket and seemed to be looking for a time to exit. When he stood up to leave, I asked him if I could pray for him before he left. This led him away from the table so that Rich could have the full attention of the other host. After I prayed for Ron he suddenly told me this story of how some lady had prayed over his leg randomly on the street a few weeks back and he had been healed. He didn't seem to know why it happened, or why he was telling me really. His story launched us into a lengthy conversation about God's love for him. He wasn't ready to make any commitments to God, and still tried to make up excuses throughout the conversation. At the end, he did give me his kid's phone numbers and asked if I would contact them on his behalf and let them know that he is alive and doing alright. After Ron left, I went back to our table and sat down with the other two. We finished off our conversation and prayed for Rich, and the two guys exchanged contact information to keep in touch. We walked Rich down to the door, and with a hug, said goodbye. The other host and I shared stories from our separate conversations once they were gone. He had gone out with Ron before the event actually started and grabbed a hot drink. He told me that during their conversation, Ron was completely closed to talking about God in any way. He strongly felt like he should ask for Ron's kids contact information, but was reluctant in asking. God was so faithful in bringing that back up so that we would be sure it was from him. I really do believe, based on the conversation that Ron had prior to the event compared to the one we shared, that God is was really moving in his heart on this night. There was a real break-through by God's Spirit. I have yet to get in touch with both his children, but I pray for them often. I think God wants to reconcile this family back together. He is calling Ron to himself so strongly, and I know that he feels it! Prayer covering is needed for Ron and for his kids, Megan and Ryan, as well as over our future conversations!
I sat in the far back corner, upstairs, waiting for my guests to arrive. From my vantage point, I had a pretty good view of the wall and the tables immediately to my left and thats about it. First to the table came Rich. Richard is a law student in his 50's that has been unemployed, and taking advantage of the food services offered at Dorothy Day since 2008. He is a devout Catholic who just seemed a little lonely. I enjoyed talking with him about legal studies and Ireland. Next to the table came Ron. Ron is pretty far on the other side of the spectrum from Rich. He is addicted to booze and has the goal to enter a wet-house and continue his lifestyle. Another host came to join our table so the ratio became one on one. As conversation continued, it became clear that these men had little in common. It was difficult to engage both of them at once, but once the talking started we let them listen to the message as we prayed silently over them. I could see instantly how both of these men seemed to shut down when the talking started. Ron put on his jacket and seemed to be looking for a time to exit. When he stood up to leave, I asked him if I could pray for him before he left. This led him away from the table so that Rich could have the full attention of the other host. After I prayed for Ron he suddenly told me this story of how some lady had prayed over his leg randomly on the street a few weeks back and he had been healed. He didn't seem to know why it happened, or why he was telling me really. His story launched us into a lengthy conversation about God's love for him. He wasn't ready to make any commitments to God, and still tried to make up excuses throughout the conversation. At the end, he did give me his kid's phone numbers and asked if I would contact them on his behalf and let them know that he is alive and doing alright. After Ron left, I went back to our table and sat down with the other two. We finished off our conversation and prayed for Rich, and the two guys exchanged contact information to keep in touch. We walked Rich down to the door, and with a hug, said goodbye. The other host and I shared stories from our separate conversations once they were gone. He had gone out with Ron before the event actually started and grabbed a hot drink. He told me that during their conversation, Ron was completely closed to talking about God in any way. He strongly felt like he should ask for Ron's kids contact information, but was reluctant in asking. God was so faithful in bringing that back up so that we would be sure it was from him. I really do believe, based on the conversation that Ron had prior to the event compared to the one we shared, that God is was really moving in his heart on this night. There was a real break-through by God's Spirit. I have yet to get in touch with both his children, but I pray for them often. I think God wants to reconcile this family back together. He is calling Ron to himself so strongly, and I know that he feels it! Prayer covering is needed for Ron and for his kids, Megan and Ryan, as well as over our future conversations!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Out there.
Two major themes are running through my mind right now. One is unity and complaining and the other is outreach.
Our freshmen class here at BCOM embraced unity right away. We were a family from the get-go. So, of course, this is going to be the thing that gets attacked from the enemy. A running problem around the campus lately has been this negative spirit and a complaining heart. It spreads so quickly. One person brings up a silly rule, and the whole group starts talking bad. It is a hard thing to turn around. Yesterday we had a class - one of our Power Of the Cross classes that we have every Friday - that was on Rebellion, Repentance, and Restitution. We spent a long time in our cell group after talking about rebellion. It doesn't need to look like purposely talking back or being outrightly defiant. It begins in our hearts. When we do things with an unwilling heart, and when we mock the authority placed above us. I really think it's a big problem here, even within my own heart. It is important to go back and think through the reasons we are here. We paid to come to this school. to learn. to grow. to be inspired. to make friends. to meet with God. There are so many reasons that could be listed out. And those things are all happening. It is just easier sometimes to focus on silly rules and structure, and get totally side-tracked. Yesterday in cell group we made a pact to spread joy instead of negativity. We want to try and cut down the complaints in our hearts before they have a chance to affect others. Its a start anyway... (reading back over this it really sounds like this is an awful place where everyone always has a bad attitude. that is so not the case. It is an underlying thing that rears its ugly head once and awhile. We just decided that a transformed heart was the better way.)
On outreach: I am SO looking forward to the outreach event that is happening next week! Every year the school puts on a major outreach n the week before Thanksgiving Break. This year, we are renting out a big hall downtown and serving dinner/putting on a program for hundreds of people, most of whom are homeless. I will be a server - so fun! We have people set up to be table hosts and kitchen duties and performers and a prayer team. I think it is going to be a pretty crazy night. On Thursday we all hit the streets with invitations and invited basically every person we saw, specifically targeting the homeless. Our group got out really late, and ended up getting lost for forever. It was cold too, so there were hardly any people on the streets. We didn't get very far with our invitations, but it was so cool to see how our group maintained a positive attitude and was just so ready to get up and go and try another street. We were all laughing and singing and getting to know each other better. It was a great evening. I really do love all my friends here. They are such a blessing to me. I learn so much from being with other people... and its neat to see similar 'lessons' being brought up by God routinely throughout your week.
The other thing about outreach: Every Monday I go to a Somoli community nearby to help teach English to Somoli immigrants. I started this outreach late, so I've only been a handful of times. But every time I've gone, I have been able to work with the same girl. She is a year older than me, and engaged to be married this coming summer. Instantly we clicked. She brought me a beautiful yellow scarf a couple weeks back, and I brought her a journal filled with quotes and scripture! We do her homework for half of the time, and focus on more important things the other half. Like talking about the world, love, family, culture... and God. It is so much fun. One week we ended up talking for ages about prayer. Why we pray, when we pray, what we pray, how we pray. I got to explain to her all about how my relationship with God is similar to her relationship with her finance. How it is focused around love and communication. It was pretty cool. Since then, I can tell walls have gone up a little. But she still comes, and still talks with me. I am praying for her constantly. I love the ministry that has gone into that community. In faith, we believe and we pray.
NEXT WEEK we are OFF! I am so so so looking forward to Thanksgiving Break!! I will be at Alyssa's Grandma's for the weekend. It will be a relaxing time with food games and family. I'm excited for a break.... and to be able to READ again for fun. It will be good.
Our freshmen class here at BCOM embraced unity right away. We were a family from the get-go. So, of course, this is going to be the thing that gets attacked from the enemy. A running problem around the campus lately has been this negative spirit and a complaining heart. It spreads so quickly. One person brings up a silly rule, and the whole group starts talking bad. It is a hard thing to turn around. Yesterday we had a class - one of our Power Of the Cross classes that we have every Friday - that was on Rebellion, Repentance, and Restitution. We spent a long time in our cell group after talking about rebellion. It doesn't need to look like purposely talking back or being outrightly defiant. It begins in our hearts. When we do things with an unwilling heart, and when we mock the authority placed above us. I really think it's a big problem here, even within my own heart. It is important to go back and think through the reasons we are here. We paid to come to this school. to learn. to grow. to be inspired. to make friends. to meet with God. There are so many reasons that could be listed out. And those things are all happening. It is just easier sometimes to focus on silly rules and structure, and get totally side-tracked. Yesterday in cell group we made a pact to spread joy instead of negativity. We want to try and cut down the complaints in our hearts before they have a chance to affect others. Its a start anyway... (reading back over this it really sounds like this is an awful place where everyone always has a bad attitude. that is so not the case. It is an underlying thing that rears its ugly head once and awhile. We just decided that a transformed heart was the better way.)
On outreach: I am SO looking forward to the outreach event that is happening next week! Every year the school puts on a major outreach n the week before Thanksgiving Break. This year, we are renting out a big hall downtown and serving dinner/putting on a program for hundreds of people, most of whom are homeless. I will be a server - so fun! We have people set up to be table hosts and kitchen duties and performers and a prayer team. I think it is going to be a pretty crazy night. On Thursday we all hit the streets with invitations and invited basically every person we saw, specifically targeting the homeless. Our group got out really late, and ended up getting lost for forever. It was cold too, so there were hardly any people on the streets. We didn't get very far with our invitations, but it was so cool to see how our group maintained a positive attitude and was just so ready to get up and go and try another street. We were all laughing and singing and getting to know each other better. It was a great evening. I really do love all my friends here. They are such a blessing to me. I learn so much from being with other people... and its neat to see similar 'lessons' being brought up by God routinely throughout your week.
The other thing about outreach: Every Monday I go to a Somoli community nearby to help teach English to Somoli immigrants. I started this outreach late, so I've only been a handful of times. But every time I've gone, I have been able to work with the same girl. She is a year older than me, and engaged to be married this coming summer. Instantly we clicked. She brought me a beautiful yellow scarf a couple weeks back, and I brought her a journal filled with quotes and scripture! We do her homework for half of the time, and focus on more important things the other half. Like talking about the world, love, family, culture... and God. It is so much fun. One week we ended up talking for ages about prayer. Why we pray, when we pray, what we pray, how we pray. I got to explain to her all about how my relationship with God is similar to her relationship with her finance. How it is focused around love and communication. It was pretty cool. Since then, I can tell walls have gone up a little. But she still comes, and still talks with me. I am praying for her constantly. I love the ministry that has gone into that community. In faith, we believe and we pray.
NEXT WEEK we are OFF! I am so so so looking forward to Thanksgiving Break!! I will be at Alyssa's Grandma's for the weekend. It will be a relaxing time with food games and family. I'm excited for a break.... and to be able to READ again for fun. It will be good.
Friday, October 22, 2010
My sister lives in africa.
These past two weeks of school have been focused on God's love for us. The class is technically called Kingdom Lifestyle, but we don't talk about that as much as God's love. The teacher is just amazing. Her name is Nita. She is a 65 year old who rebels against all systems and structure of the world and I love it! She grew up a missionary kid thinking that she needed to fit the mold and follow the rules to be a good christian, but somewhere along the line God grabbed hold of her and wrecked her ideas of religion. She is one of the most spirit-led people I have ever met. Everything in her class revolves around how His spirit is moving in that moment. Routinely she will stop talking to have us be still and recognize that God is thinking about each of us right now. In this moment His mind is filled with good thoughts toward you. It's pretty cool. Our homework in that class is to pray. 7 hours a week. and to read a book on prayer. Then write a paper on what we are learning. It's pretty radical stuff.
On the first day of class she was talking about God's Kingdom as it is intended, and will be one day. While she was talking, for a split second a mental image came to mind of me walking through a meadow holding my cousin's hand, and in the next image, we were dancing together before Jesus. Tears started running down my face. It was so touching to my heart because my cousin has spino-bifida and can't walk without the help of braces. I truly believe that one day she will though, whether that's in Heaven or before is up to God. I'm just excited that I get to be there with her too.
We spent some time in a few of her classes to stop and pray over specific people in the class too, and ask God for words for them. This means praying and waiting for the Holy Spirit to speak to us about another person, and then sharing those verses or words or pictures with that person. It's a beautiful thing. and it's incredible to see how God gives similar pictures to different people that build off of one another and create a bigger picture. He affirms what he wants to say too by saying the same thing to multiple people. This class has been really good for creating a family-like feeling within our freshmen class. There are somewhere around 45 of us, but they all feel like family.
Here are some quotes from class that have stuck me: If you know you are loved deeply, you'll get up a lot faster.Its not hard, its impossible - so lets relax and submit to His grace. Every book of the Bible's purpose is to reveal Jesus - the Holy Spirit can't resist talking about Him. He is thinking about me right now... and they are good thoughts. When I accept myself, then I can forget myself. Our purpose: to know God and serve with Him. Ps. 18:36 - You have made a wide path for my feet to keep me from slipping.[about the church being the bride of Christ - God wants an equal partner. He won't be unequally yoked with His bride. This is why we must suffer, because Jesus did, and we need to grow and be purified.] You cannot just do something because you see a need, we must always act in obedience to His voice. To see people as Jesus does we must see them as they will become. He gets us there alot faster His slow way than we get running on a treadmill. Songs of Songs 1:5 - I am dark, but beautiful: I am sinful but enjoyable to Him. You become what you behold. and those are just from the first few days! It has been a good class!
I've also been really challenged within my prayer life. Praying like you believe it when Jesus said ask and you will receive. Praying in faith, and with perseverance. Meaning 'assume its a yes until its a no'. That's hard! When we dont hear a yes pretty quickly we just assume that it is put of line with God's will. It's also been good learning about how obedience is strongly connected with prayer. We must act when He speaks, and He will act when we speak. It's a relationship! We are told this, but how often do our prayer lives reflect this?
On a complete side: This week I spent a bit of time off campus as well. It always feels good to do that. I borrowed a friend's car twice this week to get out. Went shopping, went to a bonfire, and to a college group games night at my roommates church. Im loving building these relationships. I'm being challenged too in quite a few areas... but maybe I'll save that for another update!
I love you all. Thanks for reading :)
On the first day of class she was talking about God's Kingdom as it is intended, and will be one day. While she was talking, for a split second a mental image came to mind of me walking through a meadow holding my cousin's hand, and in the next image, we were dancing together before Jesus. Tears started running down my face. It was so touching to my heart because my cousin has spino-bifida and can't walk without the help of braces. I truly believe that one day she will though, whether that's in Heaven or before is up to God. I'm just excited that I get to be there with her too.
We spent some time in a few of her classes to stop and pray over specific people in the class too, and ask God for words for them. This means praying and waiting for the Holy Spirit to speak to us about another person, and then sharing those verses or words or pictures with that person. It's a beautiful thing. and it's incredible to see how God gives similar pictures to different people that build off of one another and create a bigger picture. He affirms what he wants to say too by saying the same thing to multiple people. This class has been really good for creating a family-like feeling within our freshmen class. There are somewhere around 45 of us, but they all feel like family.
Here are some quotes from class that have stuck me: If you know you are loved deeply, you'll get up a lot faster.Its not hard, its impossible - so lets relax and submit to His grace. Every book of the Bible's purpose is to reveal Jesus - the Holy Spirit can't resist talking about Him. He is thinking about me right now... and they are good thoughts. When I accept myself, then I can forget myself. Our purpose: to know God and serve with Him. Ps. 18:36 - You have made a wide path for my feet to keep me from slipping.[about the church being the bride of Christ - God wants an equal partner. He won't be unequally yoked with His bride. This is why we must suffer, because Jesus did, and we need to grow and be purified.] You cannot just do something because you see a need, we must always act in obedience to His voice. To see people as Jesus does we must see them as they will become. He gets us there alot faster His slow way than we get running on a treadmill. Songs of Songs 1:5 - I am dark, but beautiful: I am sinful but enjoyable to Him. You become what you behold. and those are just from the first few days! It has been a good class!
I've also been really challenged within my prayer life. Praying like you believe it when Jesus said ask and you will receive. Praying in faith, and with perseverance. Meaning 'assume its a yes until its a no'. That's hard! When we dont hear a yes pretty quickly we just assume that it is put of line with God's will. It's also been good learning about how obedience is strongly connected with prayer. We must act when He speaks, and He will act when we speak. It's a relationship! We are told this, but how often do our prayer lives reflect this?
On a complete side: This week I spent a bit of time off campus as well. It always feels good to do that. I borrowed a friend's car twice this week to get out. Went shopping, went to a bonfire, and to a college group games night at my roommates church. Im loving building these relationships. I'm being challenged too in quite a few areas... but maybe I'll save that for another update!
I love you all. Thanks for reading :)
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
On Love.
Kahlil Gibran on Love
When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
To rest.
Today was a great reminder of God's grace.
This week I have been dragging my feet a little. I haven't felt one hundred per cent. I've been tired, and felt worn out. I haven't felt particularly productive or useful either. It's not that I've had a bad week though. It just hasn't been all that, you know?
Last night for homework we had to read through Genesis 1 - 11. The class we are taking right now is just jammed full with information and insight, but I just have not gotten into it. So, I read the first eleven chapters, feeling more confused about God's plan and character than I ever was before, and finally decided that something needed to change. I knew that there was truth and insight that I was missing out on because I just was not on track with what we were learning about. I went to bed praying that God would reveal to me truth about His basic character in Genesis. That I would see HIM and be able to read the stories through that lens.
God is so faithful! He definitely answered that prayer. Today I not only felt unusually awake for class, but I was excited. As class went on today I was again and again blown away by a new understanding of a passage or a new tidbit of God's original plan. It was so good! I love learning about how God used things, like numerical significance, to speak to the people of that day so clearly about something. For example: If you look at the genealogies listed from both Cain and from Seth (Abel), both the third and the seventh born son have something specific written about them (If you count Adam as number 1). And Cain's line was one of Human Effort and of darkness, where are Abel's line was one of God-Fearing and Worship. It's just amazing to see the correlations and connections!
I am just reminded again and again that God speaks our language. Unlike any other religion on the earth, God does not expect us to reach His standards in order to enter His presence. He comes to us, and is gentle in His leading and teaching. He spoke to the people of old in the structure they understood; Jesus spoke in parables to relate his teachings to what was understood; God whispers to my heart things that I am ready to hear for the time and place that I am at.
I am learning so much, and it would be easy to feel overwhelmed. There seems to be no time to sit on one thing or to go deeper with a particular topic, because the pace is so fast. But God's grace allows me to learn what he wants to teach me. And to just rest when I need to slow it down. God is a gentleman, and works with us where we are at.
And right now, I need to rest.
This week I have been dragging my feet a little. I haven't felt one hundred per cent. I've been tired, and felt worn out. I haven't felt particularly productive or useful either. It's not that I've had a bad week though. It just hasn't been all that, you know?
Last night for homework we had to read through Genesis 1 - 11. The class we are taking right now is just jammed full with information and insight, but I just have not gotten into it. So, I read the first eleven chapters, feeling more confused about God's plan and character than I ever was before, and finally decided that something needed to change. I knew that there was truth and insight that I was missing out on because I just was not on track with what we were learning about. I went to bed praying that God would reveal to me truth about His basic character in Genesis. That I would see HIM and be able to read the stories through that lens.
God is so faithful! He definitely answered that prayer. Today I not only felt unusually awake for class, but I was excited. As class went on today I was again and again blown away by a new understanding of a passage or a new tidbit of God's original plan. It was so good! I love learning about how God used things, like numerical significance, to speak to the people of that day so clearly about something. For example: If you look at the genealogies listed from both Cain and from Seth (Abel), both the third and the seventh born son have something specific written about them (If you count Adam as number 1). And Cain's line was one of Human Effort and of darkness, where are Abel's line was one of God-Fearing and Worship. It's just amazing to see the correlations and connections!
I am just reminded again and again that God speaks our language. Unlike any other religion on the earth, God does not expect us to reach His standards in order to enter His presence. He comes to us, and is gentle in His leading and teaching. He spoke to the people of old in the structure they understood; Jesus spoke in parables to relate his teachings to what was understood; God whispers to my heart things that I am ready to hear for the time and place that I am at.
I am learning so much, and it would be easy to feel overwhelmed. There seems to be no time to sit on one thing or to go deeper with a particular topic, because the pace is so fast. But God's grace allows me to learn what he wants to teach me. And to just rest when I need to slow it down. God is a gentleman, and works with us where we are at.
And right now, I need to rest.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Blessings and Beatitudes
I really feel at a loss as to what I want to write about to begin explaining my time here at BCOM (Bethany College of Missions) so far. I have been here a month. One week of orientation and three weeks of class. I know that for a fact because my first class is done already and we start up with our second class already on Monday. It is so strange how easily this transition actually was for me. I find it hard to believe that I was so unsure about coming here all last year! I was back and forth on it constantly. Not that I didn't want to, but more that I wasn't sure if it was God's best for me. Now that Im here though, I don't see how He could have better... This is exactly where I want to be and exactly what I want to be doing. I love being here with God. I think the way my life has been since YWAM I have gotten so used to just sitting and being with God. I had so much time last year to be quiet and to reflect and to listen. I didn't always use that to the fullest potential, but I learned a lot. And those habits have stayed with me. I love going to the prayer room here. Or out on my balcony when it's not too cold. Or walking through the back property. Or climbing up a tree... which I do almost every day! It's cool too because its not like God is saying a whole lot to me right now in my life that I need to get away to listen all the time so I know what's up... No, its more like we are just dating and we are developing the base of our relationship by just hanging out. I just like being with Him. And I'm learning more and more how much He likes to be with me. God's pursuit . That's what I want to know.
Besides that, I am loving being around all new people. I absolutely love hearing people's stories and making new friendships and building memories. Every single day is fun and memorable and uplifting and inspiring and hilarious. The sophomores and faculty have told us that we have a unique group... that there is a unity and a seeking nature within the freshmen class. And it was instant. The first week we were IN. We all came wanting God. Wanting change. Wanting Love. There is a hunger among my friends here and it is great to be apart of that.
To give a little more of the backdrop to what my days look like, I will try to outline a typical day for you... We are on the modular system. Meaning we have one class at a time, kind of. Our class starts at 8:00 everyday and Monday through Wednesday we have chapels in between the two morning classes. After lunch then we have our PT (Practical Training) which is our job here on campus. The campus is really student run which is such a cool way of doing things for so many reasons. For one, it really helps us as students take ownership of this school. It also cuts down on costs... and bonus to us, we get our room and board paid for out of it! Anyway, so that is every afternoon from 1:00 to 5:00. Besides class and chapel and work, we have outreach once a week and a one on one with our mentor. We also have English Composition every Thursday morning. And Fridays are unique completely. We have a separate class called Power Of the Cross in which we tackle real life issues. Like last week was on quiet times and reading the Bible. This week was on the Holy Spirit (SO GOOD! I learned sooo much!). We also have our small group times on Fridays right after that class. So as you can see, it is a fairly busy schedule. Especially when you add in homework and time with God - and time to process! - and socializing of course.
There has already been alot that I feel like I have learned since being here, but more so there are things that I am wrestling with. Things that I am trying to understand and having to really dig into God to figure out how these are meant to work in the world we are living in. It's good. I like to dig. I know there is truth in Him, and that keeps me going. Like I said, I am hungry for more. And I wont be satisfied with the surface level understanding. So to sum it up, I am learning, having a ton of fun, and really getting messed up (in a good way!).
I encourage and gladly accept your prayers for me in this time. I love having friends and family that I can count on for such a strong support system. Thank you for being there for me and encouraging me in my dreams! I love you all.
Besides that, I am loving being around all new people. I absolutely love hearing people's stories and making new friendships and building memories. Every single day is fun and memorable and uplifting and inspiring and hilarious. The sophomores and faculty have told us that we have a unique group... that there is a unity and a seeking nature within the freshmen class. And it was instant. The first week we were IN. We all came wanting God. Wanting change. Wanting Love. There is a hunger among my friends here and it is great to be apart of that.
To give a little more of the backdrop to what my days look like, I will try to outline a typical day for you... We are on the modular system. Meaning we have one class at a time, kind of. Our class starts at 8:00 everyday and Monday through Wednesday we have chapels in between the two morning classes. After lunch then we have our PT (Practical Training) which is our job here on campus. The campus is really student run which is such a cool way of doing things for so many reasons. For one, it really helps us as students take ownership of this school. It also cuts down on costs... and bonus to us, we get our room and board paid for out of it! Anyway, so that is every afternoon from 1:00 to 5:00. Besides class and chapel and work, we have outreach once a week and a one on one with our mentor. We also have English Composition every Thursday morning. And Fridays are unique completely. We have a separate class called Power Of the Cross in which we tackle real life issues. Like last week was on quiet times and reading the Bible. This week was on the Holy Spirit (SO GOOD! I learned sooo much!). We also have our small group times on Fridays right after that class. So as you can see, it is a fairly busy schedule. Especially when you add in homework and time with God - and time to process! - and socializing of course.
There has already been alot that I feel like I have learned since being here, but more so there are things that I am wrestling with. Things that I am trying to understand and having to really dig into God to figure out how these are meant to work in the world we are living in. It's good. I like to dig. I know there is truth in Him, and that keeps me going. Like I said, I am hungry for more. And I wont be satisfied with the surface level understanding. So to sum it up, I am learning, having a ton of fun, and really getting messed up (in a good way!).
I encourage and gladly accept your prayers for me in this time. I love having friends and family that I can count on for such a strong support system. Thank you for being there for me and encouraging me in my dreams! I love you all.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Turn the Table
I know I'm always saying this... but tomorrow really is the start of something new in my life. again.
I'm following what I felt God telling me to do over this past bit, and Im going back to school. Im actually really excited about this school. I found it quite randomly online almost exactly a year ago now while I was in California. Being in Cali for the summer confirmed my desire to return to school, and a couple of times God really seemed to validate that desire with messages of His own. When I finally started looking into it I almost instantly found the 'Intercultural Program' that I am now enrolled in. Of course, this program is offered at basically any Bible College these days, but I just wasn't impressed with the places I was looking at. I googled the program to see what else was out there. Bethany College of Missions was one of the first schools to pop up. As I scrolled through the course description and the statements of belief and all that jazz it just felt right. A few things on the website even brought chills to me as I read through... as if God had specifically planted those things as 'signs'. I logged off soon after, but bookmarked the page for future reference... thinking that I really couldn't have found an answer so fast and I would need to spend some serious time researching praying and thinking once I got back home.
Little did I know how much of an impact that one brief look at this school's webpage would change my future! I basically gave up thinking about any other school or program. I was set on this one. I began now praying about school at all. Was that really where God wanted me? Or would it end up being more of a waste of time and money?? I went back and forth over this for SO long. Even after I applied actually, I was still unsure about me even going to school. I was at the place where I was completely and totally willing to go to school or to be rejected and just go abroad as is trusting God to open another door (whether that meant going to school overseas or applying to work at a missions agency or something completely different). But, I got in. And I haven't looked back since. I am SO SO SO excited to just learn. I was always a bit of a nerd in school... I love reading and learning and soaking in information. Even if I do usually forget it directly after! I definitely feel like I am in a place to be back in the school environment. Im looking forward to living in a dorm. Im excited to build relationships with the other students and with teachers. and Im excited to be taking a bite of something a little bigger this time. to actually commit to something longer than just a year. (although, if I didn't like it at BCOM I don't technically have to go back next year!). As excited as I am, there are a few things that I can't help feeling nervous about. Like living in America again! It's been awhile since Ive lived here and both my views and America itself HAS changed. I really have no idea about American politics these days. Not from within the States that is. And Ive forgotten just how badly the recession has affected America. More so than Canada that is for sure. And Im not really sure to be honest if the school Ive signed up for is going to have views I agree with in everything. I guess Im nervous too that if a professor is teaching something as fact, but from one point of view, that I will have no knowledge to even question it. I am really hoping and praying for a balanced education, and a look from differing perspectives. So that I can go to God and figure out truth from the source.. not just believing something because I don't know better. I really want to stay in an intimate relationship with God this entire time. I dont want it ever to become about the grades or the assignments more than its about Him. And I do not want to get into arguments, whether its politics or theology, unless its done in a constructive way. (And still, I'd probably just end up listening instead of arguing!). I know that I don't have all the answers. And I don't care to ever get to that point. I simply want to KNOW God more. and to deepen my love for Him and my HUNGER for Him. And then be able to give out of that overflow.
The desire is still the same. Its what I want regardless of where I am or what Im doing. Yes, so many things come and go in life... and there are so many things that make me sad, and that make me happy. I could honestly probably be okay doing just about anything. But I choose to pursue God relentlessly. Wherever I feel led. And tomorrow that is taking me to Bloomington, MN. To be a college girl.
O boy.
I'm following what I felt God telling me to do over this past bit, and Im going back to school. Im actually really excited about this school. I found it quite randomly online almost exactly a year ago now while I was in California. Being in Cali for the summer confirmed my desire to return to school, and a couple of times God really seemed to validate that desire with messages of His own. When I finally started looking into it I almost instantly found the 'Intercultural Program' that I am now enrolled in. Of course, this program is offered at basically any Bible College these days, but I just wasn't impressed with the places I was looking at. I googled the program to see what else was out there. Bethany College of Missions was one of the first schools to pop up. As I scrolled through the course description and the statements of belief and all that jazz it just felt right. A few things on the website even brought chills to me as I read through... as if God had specifically planted those things as 'signs'. I logged off soon after, but bookmarked the page for future reference... thinking that I really couldn't have found an answer so fast and I would need to spend some serious time researching praying and thinking once I got back home.
Little did I know how much of an impact that one brief look at this school's webpage would change my future! I basically gave up thinking about any other school or program. I was set on this one. I began now praying about school at all. Was that really where God wanted me? Or would it end up being more of a waste of time and money?? I went back and forth over this for SO long. Even after I applied actually, I was still unsure about me even going to school. I was at the place where I was completely and totally willing to go to school or to be rejected and just go abroad as is trusting God to open another door (whether that meant going to school overseas or applying to work at a missions agency or something completely different). But, I got in. And I haven't looked back since. I am SO SO SO excited to just learn. I was always a bit of a nerd in school... I love reading and learning and soaking in information. Even if I do usually forget it directly after! I definitely feel like I am in a place to be back in the school environment. Im looking forward to living in a dorm. Im excited to build relationships with the other students and with teachers. and Im excited to be taking a bite of something a little bigger this time. to actually commit to something longer than just a year. (although, if I didn't like it at BCOM I don't technically have to go back next year!). As excited as I am, there are a few things that I can't help feeling nervous about. Like living in America again! It's been awhile since Ive lived here and both my views and America itself HAS changed. I really have no idea about American politics these days. Not from within the States that is. And Ive forgotten just how badly the recession has affected America. More so than Canada that is for sure. And Im not really sure to be honest if the school Ive signed up for is going to have views I agree with in everything. I guess Im nervous too that if a professor is teaching something as fact, but from one point of view, that I will have no knowledge to even question it. I am really hoping and praying for a balanced education, and a look from differing perspectives. So that I can go to God and figure out truth from the source.. not just believing something because I don't know better. I really want to stay in an intimate relationship with God this entire time. I dont want it ever to become about the grades or the assignments more than its about Him. And I do not want to get into arguments, whether its politics or theology, unless its done in a constructive way. (And still, I'd probably just end up listening instead of arguing!). I know that I don't have all the answers. And I don't care to ever get to that point. I simply want to KNOW God more. and to deepen my love for Him and my HUNGER for Him. And then be able to give out of that overflow.
The desire is still the same. Its what I want regardless of where I am or what Im doing. Yes, so many things come and go in life... and there are so many things that make me sad, and that make me happy. I could honestly probably be okay doing just about anything. But I choose to pursue God relentlessly. Wherever I feel led. And tomorrow that is taking me to Bloomington, MN. To be a college girl.
O boy.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
the start of another.
It is so strange being in a quiet house tonight. For a month now I have been on the run. Staying in a different house every 2 - 5 nights pretty much. It has been such a fun adventure! and it is not even done yet. Im hoping though that this week in Oregon will be a reflective one. I havent processed a single thing this summer... I rushed straight from my job to London and on to India without a breath. I have a feeling that Im going to get to school in a few weeks and everyone will think Im crazy!!
Looking back though, it is so cool to see how faithful God has been over the last month. All the things I was worried about were completely taken care of. Once again, the word grace meant so much to me while I was in India. There were so many times I would just be sitting and be overcome with gratefulness of just being there.. fulfilling a dream. Now Im not exactly sure the future reasons behind India for me. I have no clue even as to what this country will actually mean to me. But for now I now that I have deep rooted friends in this foreign country, and it has become a home base of sorts for me. I know I could go back now, at any time, and have people to stay with and work to do. My time back was to establish that I think. I was often amazed at how comforable I felt back in the Indian culture. I was reminded of how I actually enjoy the challenges. I love the fighting culture. I like the food. I enjoy the chaos. It was so much fun to live in that again. and to be able to show it off to my friends. AND see them experience it all for the first time. In no time at all, we were all crossing roads Indian style with ease. And eating with our hands. and even speaking Hindi a little.
I am so thankful for the group of people that decided to trust both God and me, amd join me on this adventure.
Our time of debriefing was short.. we were all eager to get in as much last minute as we could. But the sense around the table was of thankfulness and love. That last day was super hard to leave and say goodbyes to the kids. Some real connections were built... and I could see some people possibly coming back again in the future. I just told everyone there to pray me back, because I want to come. But God must provide the means and the time!!
So, the answer is yes. I would do this again. And again and again. as tiring as it was... I loved being able to introduce people to needs, to children, to Gods work... and watch it all unfold. In fact, I would even go as far as to say that it might have been intentional that I was sick and tired during this trip so that looking back I know that there is no way I can take any credit. It could not have been done on my strength. But in my weakness God was strong... and He carried this group. And I believe He has mighty work in store because of this experience.
As always.. the journey has just begun!
Looking back though, it is so cool to see how faithful God has been over the last month. All the things I was worried about were completely taken care of. Once again, the word grace meant so much to me while I was in India. There were so many times I would just be sitting and be overcome with gratefulness of just being there.. fulfilling a dream. Now Im not exactly sure the future reasons behind India for me. I have no clue even as to what this country will actually mean to me. But for now I now that I have deep rooted friends in this foreign country, and it has become a home base of sorts for me. I know I could go back now, at any time, and have people to stay with and work to do. My time back was to establish that I think. I was often amazed at how comforable I felt back in the Indian culture. I was reminded of how I actually enjoy the challenges. I love the fighting culture. I like the food. I enjoy the chaos. It was so much fun to live in that again. and to be able to show it off to my friends. AND see them experience it all for the first time. In no time at all, we were all crossing roads Indian style with ease. And eating with our hands. and even speaking Hindi a little.
I am so thankful for the group of people that decided to trust both God and me, amd join me on this adventure.
Our time of debriefing was short.. we were all eager to get in as much last minute as we could. But the sense around the table was of thankfulness and love. That last day was super hard to leave and say goodbyes to the kids. Some real connections were built... and I could see some people possibly coming back again in the future. I just told everyone there to pray me back, because I want to come. But God must provide the means and the time!!
So, the answer is yes. I would do this again. And again and again. as tiring as it was... I loved being able to introduce people to needs, to children, to Gods work... and watch it all unfold. In fact, I would even go as far as to say that it might have been intentional that I was sick and tired during this trip so that looking back I know that there is no way I can take any credit. It could not have been done on my strength. But in my weakness God was strong... and He carried this group. And I believe He has mighty work in store because of this experience.
As always.. the journey has just begun!
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Our days are coming to an end here in Delhi. It is a sad thing to say goodbye, even after such a short time. Some of the group is ready to head back; to have a warm shower and not sweat the instant you step out. And some of the group is not yet ready to leave this all here. Most everyone has that special child or worker that they have deeply connected with. It takes work, but it is so worth it to keep in touch with that person.
Personally, I am so sad to be leaving my little kids here again. Thursday night we broke the news to the kids in the Centre that we would be leaving for Canada soon, and the reaction we got surprised me. The kids were SO sad. Some of the little girls, including my 'sister', Sangita, started crying. She said she waited so long for me to come back like I said I would, and now Im leaving again. Her reaction was first of anger, then a deep sadness. The reason this surprised me was because out of all the young girls we see she is the toughest. She never joins in any of the programs or the 'work' that the other kids do. I dont know if this is her choice or her parents... but because of it she knows no english (where the other older kids can communicate somewhat with us) and always seems very angry and very hardened. I dont know why she chose me last time I was here, but she did. And I guess its just good for me to know that my letters and my prayers actually do really matter to her. So its hard to leave these kids. Especially because this time I really dont know when I will be able to come back. They will be grown up... maybe even married off next time I come! But I leave trusting them to the Father's care. I have to believe that he is good and will watch over them. He is able to do far more than I ever could for these kids. But we must remember and we must share their stories. And that gives me all the more reason to support the work that IS happening here as well.
On the other hand, I am ready to come home for the next adventure of my summer. I know I need rest. The best place for me to get that is with family, so I am really looking forward to this next week in Oregon with my family. And before I know it, I will be heading out to school! And James will be married!!I cant believe that. This trip has been so long in coming, its so strange to have it nearly done.
I just tell everyone here to pray me back! That is the best way.
Personally, I am so sad to be leaving my little kids here again. Thursday night we broke the news to the kids in the Centre that we would be leaving for Canada soon, and the reaction we got surprised me. The kids were SO sad. Some of the little girls, including my 'sister', Sangita, started crying. She said she waited so long for me to come back like I said I would, and now Im leaving again. Her reaction was first of anger, then a deep sadness. The reason this surprised me was because out of all the young girls we see she is the toughest. She never joins in any of the programs or the 'work' that the other kids do. I dont know if this is her choice or her parents... but because of it she knows no english (where the other older kids can communicate somewhat with us) and always seems very angry and very hardened. I dont know why she chose me last time I was here, but she did. And I guess its just good for me to know that my letters and my prayers actually do really matter to her. So its hard to leave these kids. Especially because this time I really dont know when I will be able to come back. They will be grown up... maybe even married off next time I come! But I leave trusting them to the Father's care. I have to believe that he is good and will watch over them. He is able to do far more than I ever could for these kids. But we must remember and we must share their stories. And that gives me all the more reason to support the work that IS happening here as well.
On the other hand, I am ready to come home for the next adventure of my summer. I know I need rest. The best place for me to get that is with family, so I am really looking forward to this next week in Oregon with my family. And before I know it, I will be heading out to school! And James will be married!!I cant believe that. This trip has been so long in coming, its so strange to have it nearly done.
I just tell everyone here to pray me back! That is the best way.
Monday, July 26, 2010
I do not remember the last time I have felt so exhausted! This is taking everything out of me this time. The good thing about that is having to rely on His strength for every little bit of work that we are doing. I need renewed strength everyday. And grace, and patience and joy. Especially joy. This must be a little bit of what the workers here feel like.
Today I spoke with my one friend (worker) for some time. He has an incredible story. They truly are living by faith. For meal to meal and for daily energy to be with the demanding children. And it shows. These kids right now are mostly all new kids. Somehow word spread and these kids came on their own accord. But they are troubled kids. Some of them are coming with habits like smoking, drinking and sniffing glue. These bad habits cause bad attitudes, and that is hard to keep from affecting the other kids. My friend said that its good and bad these kids are there. Its bad that they are affecting the other kids negatively, but its good that they are there... and coming back every day. The kids prefer this school to anything else because of the love they receive here. It is the only place that affection is shown. The only place that cares about their interests. Some of the kids come only for food and medicine... but the hope is that with time some of the teachings will soak in anyway.
It's amazing to be able to bring much needed supplies to these places. These are all children programs, but there are no toys. Anywhere. We will be able to bless with toys, clothes, food and medicines. So many of these people and places are just run dry. If only for a short time, we hope to bring refreshing waters.
So I am okay being tired. I hope it means that my strength is being passed along in waves to the people that need it here.
and as I give I know the promise of new waters, and a filling of my jar.
Today I spoke with my one friend (worker) for some time. He has an incredible story. They truly are living by faith. For meal to meal and for daily energy to be with the demanding children. And it shows. These kids right now are mostly all new kids. Somehow word spread and these kids came on their own accord. But they are troubled kids. Some of them are coming with habits like smoking, drinking and sniffing glue. These bad habits cause bad attitudes, and that is hard to keep from affecting the other kids. My friend said that its good and bad these kids are there. Its bad that they are affecting the other kids negatively, but its good that they are there... and coming back every day. The kids prefer this school to anything else because of the love they receive here. It is the only place that affection is shown. The only place that cares about their interests. Some of the kids come only for food and medicine... but the hope is that with time some of the teachings will soak in anyway.
It's amazing to be able to bring much needed supplies to these places. These are all children programs, but there are no toys. Anywhere. We will be able to bless with toys, clothes, food and medicines. So many of these people and places are just run dry. If only for a short time, we hope to bring refreshing waters.
So I am okay being tired. I hope it means that my strength is being passed along in waves to the people that need it here.
and as I give I know the promise of new waters, and a filling of my jar.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Back to the Start
Hello!
My time here is short, and there is much to write, and so much more to still process through in my own mind. It has been a rollercoaster for the past three? weeks, but I can clearly sense God's peace as He guides me through this all.
My first week in London was so refreshing. It felt so normal to be with my YWAM family again. I love the community we share. It was so good to encourage and to be encouraged, and to hear the updates of what God has been doing over the past year. and the wedding was BEAUTIFUL. I feel so priviledged to have been able to attend that. It was so much fun to be apart of the set up, and then to dance the night away with everyone. Carolyn made a beautiful bride! The time went by quickly, and soon enough I was taking a taxi in Mumbai to Raoul's house. Instantly it just felt right to be back in India. I really enjoyed my time with the Mumbai gang. We enjoyed good food, good fellowship and lots of laughs. I really get along well with them. It was good to go in as a friend this time too instead of a leader, or apart of a visiting team. Both Pune and Mumbai felt natural and comfortable. I was spoiled with the hospitality too! Again, the time felt too short before it was time again to head out to Delhi. Already we have planned for 'next time' whenever I am able to come back. These are true friends that I have made in India.
The start of our time in Delhi has been intense! We have kept up a busy schedule despite the cultural differences and the weather/humidity. Our first day here I went to a meeting with the leaders and found out that our entire schedule was to be shifted around.. so now Im planning two days ahead only at a time! The main struggles would be the language barrier and the humidity! Also, the sights and smells have been shocking for most of the team. It's just hard to understand why it is like this here. We've heard many hard stories, and have decided as a group to record these stories with pictures and to publish a book to bring these stories to life. We havent had any sicknesses yet, and we are just trusting that every meal and every water bottle is safe for our tummies before we ingest. God has been super faithful in leading our team so far. We are all learning so much!!
Now we are heading out to go shopping this evening! Pray for energy and health, as well as continued safety. And for inspiration as for ways we can bless and help.
Take Care!
My time here is short, and there is much to write, and so much more to still process through in my own mind. It has been a rollercoaster for the past three? weeks, but I can clearly sense God's peace as He guides me through this all.
My first week in London was so refreshing. It felt so normal to be with my YWAM family again. I love the community we share. It was so good to encourage and to be encouraged, and to hear the updates of what God has been doing over the past year. and the wedding was BEAUTIFUL. I feel so priviledged to have been able to attend that. It was so much fun to be apart of the set up, and then to dance the night away with everyone. Carolyn made a beautiful bride! The time went by quickly, and soon enough I was taking a taxi in Mumbai to Raoul's house. Instantly it just felt right to be back in India. I really enjoyed my time with the Mumbai gang. We enjoyed good food, good fellowship and lots of laughs. I really get along well with them. It was good to go in as a friend this time too instead of a leader, or apart of a visiting team. Both Pune and Mumbai felt natural and comfortable. I was spoiled with the hospitality too! Again, the time felt too short before it was time again to head out to Delhi. Already we have planned for 'next time' whenever I am able to come back. These are true friends that I have made in India.
The start of our time in Delhi has been intense! We have kept up a busy schedule despite the cultural differences and the weather/humidity. Our first day here I went to a meeting with the leaders and found out that our entire schedule was to be shifted around.. so now Im planning two days ahead only at a time! The main struggles would be the language barrier and the humidity! Also, the sights and smells have been shocking for most of the team. It's just hard to understand why it is like this here. We've heard many hard stories, and have decided as a group to record these stories with pictures and to publish a book to bring these stories to life. We havent had any sicknesses yet, and we are just trusting that every meal and every water bottle is safe for our tummies before we ingest. God has been super faithful in leading our team so far. We are all learning so much!!
Now we are heading out to go shopping this evening! Pray for energy and health, as well as continued safety. And for inspiration as for ways we can bless and help.
Take Care!
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Where I'm at
This is an exciting time in my life. I feel alive and motivated. I love the things I'm involved in. I love the people I am surrounded by. and I love the dreams that push me forward. Some days it's still hard for me to believe that I'm actually going back to India so soon. In 63 days I will be in London, England and after 10 days there I will be heading back to India for three weeks. I get to see some of my closest friends in the world, and celebrate one of them getting married! Then visit some friends in Mumbai and Pune for a week before a whole group of people from my life at home will come and meet me at the airport in New Delhi and join me in ministry for two weeks on the streets and in the slums. I get to see my kids in Delhi again. I get to be Didi Jennifer for another couple weeks. I get to share that experience with some of the closest people in my life back home.
And even now, before I get to that point, I have the priviledge of leading team meetings and coordinating a group of 15 people (with lots of help, trust me). I'm learning so much so fast and it's great. Tickets are booked, accomadation is booked. Fundraising is happening... We're getting there. There has been a great deal of opposition already, but the joy just overwhelms that. When it's hard it just confirms that we are doing something right. I do get nervous sometimes still.. it's a lot of responsibility. This is what brings me to life though. This is definitely the right direction for me. Whether or not school in Minnesota is the next step, at least I know the direction.... I'm so thankful for God's guidance and faithfulness.
Between India plans, school plans, work, church, small group and socializing, there's not a lot of time leftover right now. Good thing there's also Wedding plans and showers, graduations, campouts, and anniversaries. I love my family. Boy, are we ever a busy house this spring. It's just so exciting to see it all unfold.
And even now, before I get to that point, I have the priviledge of leading team meetings and coordinating a group of 15 people (with lots of help, trust me). I'm learning so much so fast and it's great. Tickets are booked, accomadation is booked. Fundraising is happening... We're getting there. There has been a great deal of opposition already, but the joy just overwhelms that. When it's hard it just confirms that we are doing something right. I do get nervous sometimes still.. it's a lot of responsibility. This is what brings me to life though. This is definitely the right direction for me. Whether or not school in Minnesota is the next step, at least I know the direction.... I'm so thankful for God's guidance and faithfulness.
Between India plans, school plans, work, church, small group and socializing, there's not a lot of time leftover right now. Good thing there's also Wedding plans and showers, graduations, campouts, and anniversaries. I love my family. Boy, are we ever a busy house this spring. It's just so exciting to see it all unfold.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
reckless abandon
Those are beautiful words to me. I never used to be the kind of person who would ever be described that way. or freespirited. or carefree. or adventurous. Now its a little more common. It is amazing what God can and will do with your life if you only hand it over to Him.
I was talking with my boss earlier this week, and she mentioned a quote from a book she was reading. It went something like this: And he laid everything out on the alter before God, and when God accepted it, there was no bitterness. The idea was that so often we lay our 'sacrifices' before God kindof expecting that He will thank us for being so giving and then hand it all back. Do we really give with a heart of complete surrender? So that if God took EVERYTHING we thought we had or were... there would be no bitterness but only love for a God so merciful and so loving to us? But then, my boss went on to compare this situation to ME! I had told her about how in school I was a driven and worked up girl. I thought I knew what I wanted, and that was success. I wanted to be a lawyer or a politician. Someone of influence. But I was being eaten away by uncertainty and worry. I worried about everything, especially my future. I would consistantly lose sleep over insignificant things because I didnt know how to process all my emotion and thoughts. But somewhere in High School I started relaxing my grip, and finally in my last year I all together gave up on it all - and gave everything to God. That is when I experienced freedom. Because God took it all. And what he gave back to me has been incredible ever since.
I no longer feel the need to wait for clarity, or for answers. All I need is to trust. God has given me the faith I need to walk into the darkness with confidence. And that confidence comes from knowing His love. (although there are times of human doubt and weakness still.)
Its been a long time since updating this blog. I have been writing, just not posting. I have gone through quite a bit since being home in calgary. For the most part I can say that I have been more joy-filled and content this time around here than I really remember being. God's hand is definitely still at work in shaping my life, and I am enjoying the journey! There is so much detail that I could go into, but I will leave it there. I am so incredibly thankful for the ways God has touched my life, and eternally grateful for His grace in my life.
I was talking with my boss earlier this week, and she mentioned a quote from a book she was reading. It went something like this: And he laid everything out on the alter before God, and when God accepted it, there was no bitterness. The idea was that so often we lay our 'sacrifices' before God kindof expecting that He will thank us for being so giving and then hand it all back. Do we really give with a heart of complete surrender? So that if God took EVERYTHING we thought we had or were... there would be no bitterness but only love for a God so merciful and so loving to us? But then, my boss went on to compare this situation to ME! I had told her about how in school I was a driven and worked up girl. I thought I knew what I wanted, and that was success. I wanted to be a lawyer or a politician. Someone of influence. But I was being eaten away by uncertainty and worry. I worried about everything, especially my future. I would consistantly lose sleep over insignificant things because I didnt know how to process all my emotion and thoughts. But somewhere in High School I started relaxing my grip, and finally in my last year I all together gave up on it all - and gave everything to God. That is when I experienced freedom. Because God took it all. And what he gave back to me has been incredible ever since.
I no longer feel the need to wait for clarity, or for answers. All I need is to trust. God has given me the faith I need to walk into the darkness with confidence. And that confidence comes from knowing His love. (although there are times of human doubt and weakness still.)
Its been a long time since updating this blog. I have been writing, just not posting. I have gone through quite a bit since being home in calgary. For the most part I can say that I have been more joy-filled and content this time around here than I really remember being. God's hand is definitely still at work in shaping my life, and I am enjoying the journey! There is so much detail that I could go into, but I will leave it there. I am so incredibly thankful for the ways God has touched my life, and eternally grateful for His grace in my life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)