Those are beautiful words to me. I never used to be the kind of person who would ever be described that way. or freespirited. or carefree. or adventurous. Now its a little more common. It is amazing what God can and will do with your life if you only hand it over to Him.
I was talking with my boss earlier this week, and she mentioned a quote from a book she was reading. It went something like this: And he laid everything out on the alter before God, and when God accepted it, there was no bitterness. The idea was that so often we lay our 'sacrifices' before God kindof expecting that He will thank us for being so giving and then hand it all back. Do we really give with a heart of complete surrender? So that if God took EVERYTHING we thought we had or were... there would be no bitterness but only love for a God so merciful and so loving to us? But then, my boss went on to compare this situation to ME! I had told her about how in school I was a driven and worked up girl. I thought I knew what I wanted, and that was success. I wanted to be a lawyer or a politician. Someone of influence. But I was being eaten away by uncertainty and worry. I worried about everything, especially my future. I would consistantly lose sleep over insignificant things because I didnt know how to process all my emotion and thoughts. But somewhere in High School I started relaxing my grip, and finally in my last year I all together gave up on it all - and gave everything to God. That is when I experienced freedom. Because God took it all. And what he gave back to me has been incredible ever since.
I no longer feel the need to wait for clarity, or for answers. All I need is to trust. God has given me the faith I need to walk into the darkness with confidence. And that confidence comes from knowing His love. (although there are times of human doubt and weakness still.)
Its been a long time since updating this blog. I have been writing, just not posting. I have gone through quite a bit since being home in calgary. For the most part I can say that I have been more joy-filled and content this time around here than I really remember being. God's hand is definitely still at work in shaping my life, and I am enjoying the journey! There is so much detail that I could go into, but I will leave it there. I am so incredibly thankful for the ways God has touched my life, and eternally grateful for His grace in my life.