Kahlil Gibran on Love
When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
To rest.
Today was a great reminder of God's grace.
This week I have been dragging my feet a little. I haven't felt one hundred per cent. I've been tired, and felt worn out. I haven't felt particularly productive or useful either. It's not that I've had a bad week though. It just hasn't been all that, you know?
Last night for homework we had to read through Genesis 1 - 11. The class we are taking right now is just jammed full with information and insight, but I just have not gotten into it. So, I read the first eleven chapters, feeling more confused about God's plan and character than I ever was before, and finally decided that something needed to change. I knew that there was truth and insight that I was missing out on because I just was not on track with what we were learning about. I went to bed praying that God would reveal to me truth about His basic character in Genesis. That I would see HIM and be able to read the stories through that lens.
God is so faithful! He definitely answered that prayer. Today I not only felt unusually awake for class, but I was excited. As class went on today I was again and again blown away by a new understanding of a passage or a new tidbit of God's original plan. It was so good! I love learning about how God used things, like numerical significance, to speak to the people of that day so clearly about something. For example: If you look at the genealogies listed from both Cain and from Seth (Abel), both the third and the seventh born son have something specific written about them (If you count Adam as number 1). And Cain's line was one of Human Effort and of darkness, where are Abel's line was one of God-Fearing and Worship. It's just amazing to see the correlations and connections!
I am just reminded again and again that God speaks our language. Unlike any other religion on the earth, God does not expect us to reach His standards in order to enter His presence. He comes to us, and is gentle in His leading and teaching. He spoke to the people of old in the structure they understood; Jesus spoke in parables to relate his teachings to what was understood; God whispers to my heart things that I am ready to hear for the time and place that I am at.
I am learning so much, and it would be easy to feel overwhelmed. There seems to be no time to sit on one thing or to go deeper with a particular topic, because the pace is so fast. But God's grace allows me to learn what he wants to teach me. And to just rest when I need to slow it down. God is a gentleman, and works with us where we are at.
And right now, I need to rest.
This week I have been dragging my feet a little. I haven't felt one hundred per cent. I've been tired, and felt worn out. I haven't felt particularly productive or useful either. It's not that I've had a bad week though. It just hasn't been all that, you know?
Last night for homework we had to read through Genesis 1 - 11. The class we are taking right now is just jammed full with information and insight, but I just have not gotten into it. So, I read the first eleven chapters, feeling more confused about God's plan and character than I ever was before, and finally decided that something needed to change. I knew that there was truth and insight that I was missing out on because I just was not on track with what we were learning about. I went to bed praying that God would reveal to me truth about His basic character in Genesis. That I would see HIM and be able to read the stories through that lens.
God is so faithful! He definitely answered that prayer. Today I not only felt unusually awake for class, but I was excited. As class went on today I was again and again blown away by a new understanding of a passage or a new tidbit of God's original plan. It was so good! I love learning about how God used things, like numerical significance, to speak to the people of that day so clearly about something. For example: If you look at the genealogies listed from both Cain and from Seth (Abel), both the third and the seventh born son have something specific written about them (If you count Adam as number 1). And Cain's line was one of Human Effort and of darkness, where are Abel's line was one of God-Fearing and Worship. It's just amazing to see the correlations and connections!
I am just reminded again and again that God speaks our language. Unlike any other religion on the earth, God does not expect us to reach His standards in order to enter His presence. He comes to us, and is gentle in His leading and teaching. He spoke to the people of old in the structure they understood; Jesus spoke in parables to relate his teachings to what was understood; God whispers to my heart things that I am ready to hear for the time and place that I am at.
I am learning so much, and it would be easy to feel overwhelmed. There seems to be no time to sit on one thing or to go deeper with a particular topic, because the pace is so fast. But God's grace allows me to learn what he wants to teach me. And to just rest when I need to slow it down. God is a gentleman, and works with us where we are at.
And right now, I need to rest.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Blessings and Beatitudes
I really feel at a loss as to what I want to write about to begin explaining my time here at BCOM (Bethany College of Missions) so far. I have been here a month. One week of orientation and three weeks of class. I know that for a fact because my first class is done already and we start up with our second class already on Monday. It is so strange how easily this transition actually was for me. I find it hard to believe that I was so unsure about coming here all last year! I was back and forth on it constantly. Not that I didn't want to, but more that I wasn't sure if it was God's best for me. Now that Im here though, I don't see how He could have better... This is exactly where I want to be and exactly what I want to be doing. I love being here with God. I think the way my life has been since YWAM I have gotten so used to just sitting and being with God. I had so much time last year to be quiet and to reflect and to listen. I didn't always use that to the fullest potential, but I learned a lot. And those habits have stayed with me. I love going to the prayer room here. Or out on my balcony when it's not too cold. Or walking through the back property. Or climbing up a tree... which I do almost every day! It's cool too because its not like God is saying a whole lot to me right now in my life that I need to get away to listen all the time so I know what's up... No, its more like we are just dating and we are developing the base of our relationship by just hanging out. I just like being with Him. And I'm learning more and more how much He likes to be with me. God's pursuit . That's what I want to know.
Besides that, I am loving being around all new people. I absolutely love hearing people's stories and making new friendships and building memories. Every single day is fun and memorable and uplifting and inspiring and hilarious. The sophomores and faculty have told us that we have a unique group... that there is a unity and a seeking nature within the freshmen class. And it was instant. The first week we were IN. We all came wanting God. Wanting change. Wanting Love. There is a hunger among my friends here and it is great to be apart of that.
To give a little more of the backdrop to what my days look like, I will try to outline a typical day for you... We are on the modular system. Meaning we have one class at a time, kind of. Our class starts at 8:00 everyday and Monday through Wednesday we have chapels in between the two morning classes. After lunch then we have our PT (Practical Training) which is our job here on campus. The campus is really student run which is such a cool way of doing things for so many reasons. For one, it really helps us as students take ownership of this school. It also cuts down on costs... and bonus to us, we get our room and board paid for out of it! Anyway, so that is every afternoon from 1:00 to 5:00. Besides class and chapel and work, we have outreach once a week and a one on one with our mentor. We also have English Composition every Thursday morning. And Fridays are unique completely. We have a separate class called Power Of the Cross in which we tackle real life issues. Like last week was on quiet times and reading the Bible. This week was on the Holy Spirit (SO GOOD! I learned sooo much!). We also have our small group times on Fridays right after that class. So as you can see, it is a fairly busy schedule. Especially when you add in homework and time with God - and time to process! - and socializing of course.
There has already been alot that I feel like I have learned since being here, but more so there are things that I am wrestling with. Things that I am trying to understand and having to really dig into God to figure out how these are meant to work in the world we are living in. It's good. I like to dig. I know there is truth in Him, and that keeps me going. Like I said, I am hungry for more. And I wont be satisfied with the surface level understanding. So to sum it up, I am learning, having a ton of fun, and really getting messed up (in a good way!).
I encourage and gladly accept your prayers for me in this time. I love having friends and family that I can count on for such a strong support system. Thank you for being there for me and encouraging me in my dreams! I love you all.
Besides that, I am loving being around all new people. I absolutely love hearing people's stories and making new friendships and building memories. Every single day is fun and memorable and uplifting and inspiring and hilarious. The sophomores and faculty have told us that we have a unique group... that there is a unity and a seeking nature within the freshmen class. And it was instant. The first week we were IN. We all came wanting God. Wanting change. Wanting Love. There is a hunger among my friends here and it is great to be apart of that.
To give a little more of the backdrop to what my days look like, I will try to outline a typical day for you... We are on the modular system. Meaning we have one class at a time, kind of. Our class starts at 8:00 everyday and Monday through Wednesday we have chapels in between the two morning classes. After lunch then we have our PT (Practical Training) which is our job here on campus. The campus is really student run which is such a cool way of doing things for so many reasons. For one, it really helps us as students take ownership of this school. It also cuts down on costs... and bonus to us, we get our room and board paid for out of it! Anyway, so that is every afternoon from 1:00 to 5:00. Besides class and chapel and work, we have outreach once a week and a one on one with our mentor. We also have English Composition every Thursday morning. And Fridays are unique completely. We have a separate class called Power Of the Cross in which we tackle real life issues. Like last week was on quiet times and reading the Bible. This week was on the Holy Spirit (SO GOOD! I learned sooo much!). We also have our small group times on Fridays right after that class. So as you can see, it is a fairly busy schedule. Especially when you add in homework and time with God - and time to process! - and socializing of course.
There has already been alot that I feel like I have learned since being here, but more so there are things that I am wrestling with. Things that I am trying to understand and having to really dig into God to figure out how these are meant to work in the world we are living in. It's good. I like to dig. I know there is truth in Him, and that keeps me going. Like I said, I am hungry for more. And I wont be satisfied with the surface level understanding. So to sum it up, I am learning, having a ton of fun, and really getting messed up (in a good way!).
I encourage and gladly accept your prayers for me in this time. I love having friends and family that I can count on for such a strong support system. Thank you for being there for me and encouraging me in my dreams! I love you all.
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