Digging deeper.

This journey called engagement is a crazy one, I tell ya! Everyone and their uncle has a piece of advice for you, and it is usually pretty good wisdom too. Since the day I arrived back on campus with the ring it has been an emotional roller coaster! Constantly fighting between wedding plans, schoolwork and relationships is trying, to say the least. I think planning a wedding is probably a little more exciting for those who have always dreamed of their 'big day'. For me, it often feels like a birthday party on a major scale and the details are hard to keep on top of! The good news is that I care way more about investing in my relationship with Joe than I do about this day, and I care even more about keeping things straight with our Father. He is helping me keep the right perspective (on the Rock, not the waves). I am helping him turn in his homework on time! What a team! Needless to say, spring break came at a perfect time last week.

We just spent the past week in beautiful Colorado. I wonder, did David ever see mountains like the Rockies when writing about them in the Psalms? It is so easy to see God in the mountains. He is everywhere, and it is so evident when you have a chance to open your eyes and see. This truly was a break. We slept, we read, we watched movies and we laid around a lot. There was wedding planning, and sight-seeing but the focus of the trip seemed to be to gain focus again. Perspective is greater than reality. When our perspective is on the eternal, the temporary fades away. It is true that Joe and I are in a season of asking though. We are constantly coming before our Father in Heaven to ask for help. I know He likes that, but it was good to have times of thanksgiving too during this trip. We are so thankful for our friends and family. It was such a blessing to be there for Samantha's proposal! They are engaged! We are all getting married! The path God leads us down in the next five years is still uncertain, but it sure is exciting stepping out in faith and seeing God's faithful guidance.

This has continued to be a hard spiritual season for me. Pruning is definitely still happening! So many things that I have always taken for granted as 'just the way I am' are being rooted up and called out as sin. It's really hard for me to be so weak all the time; to feel like I really have nothing to offer my friends. I used to bring people together, initiate gatherings and ideas and talk with passion about what God was showing me. I haven't had a lot of that this school year. It's been a lot of tears and apologizing and trying again with His strength. Learning to live from His expectations, not my own ridiculous ones. I am also learning to refuse to believe that I can never change. Just because something is a habit, does not mean that I am forced to always behave that way! I guess this is as good of season as any to learn these things!