and here we go

It interesting.. today I made the comment that I feel that I have come back around full circle in my thoughts and my passions.. but not like Ive gone backward at all. Let me try that again. I started out with this DTS saying that I wanted a raw christianity. The months leading up to this time I was talking and dreaming big. I have alot of passion, and I just wanted to get out into the world and DO and ACT and BE. I wanted to make an impact, big or small... and live my life as if I believe that Jesus' words are true. I was battling with how to make that all come to fruition in my life and in the church where I life, etc. And I needed to go through a time here of learning and growing, especially in the area of community and interdependence. But really, I needed all of it. Ive learned SO MUCH, and now Im at the same place, but with all my foundations much more secure than they were. Does that make sense? I feel SO ready to get out and DO something. Ive got ideas coming out of my ears! There is nothing in me that wants anything to do with a sensible and practical life. If Im not living out for Jesus than I see no point in it! Im ready to make some radical changes. Im done with sitting and learning (for now.. but surely not forever) and ready for the action - even if that looks like cleaning up after someone else for weeks on end. I just want to try.

So this week, if you cant tell, we are learning about missions and evangelism. But really its been more of risk taking and faith and perserverence. I like it. And the week before was on team building, which is really good as we prepare to leave for India. We did some self awareness stuff and conflict handling stuff. I really enjoyed taking a deeper look into all that.. and getting a better understanding of the whys behind us all. It turns out that according to the Myers Briggs test, there are four of us on the DTS with the same preferences in our personalities. And we all get along really well!

We officially have two weeks left here.. One week of lectures and one of final preparations! I cant believe it! Most of the work I will be taking on in India will have to be done once in india.. there is not a TON of prep work I can do. So I am keeping myself very busy with everything else! Doing alot of encouragments and cards and planning aton of different kinds of things. We are all trying our hardest to make the most of our final weeks all together with different meals planned and parties and get togethers.. and of course there are alot of final blessings that people are creating to bless one another. I must go now.. but please continue to pray that everything for our trips go smoothly. I will try to update you again before leaving.

lovelove

a lesson in teaching.

I am evermore so grateful for the friends I have surrounding me here on this school. The mixture of encouragement (so much sometimes that it is all I can do to surpress the tears and say a simple thank you) and the challenges they give. My friends speak truth. Because they know me and they see even the things I try to hide and try to deny. You really cant hide that well when you are spending your entire existance with the same small amount of people for all this time. These people here know me quite well, and still they love me. Its a really cool feeling. I need to remember this feeling. I need to remember that this TIMES a LOT is how GOD thinks of me. He doesnt just love me because Hes God and its His character. He actually LIKES me. And wants to be around me. where this all came from is because this week we got together and had to plan a church service in a hour.. and it just ended up that Cortney and I were left with delivering the message. Writing a sermon. OH MAN. That is what I said. soo I agreed with alot of hesitancy and loads of self doubt. I already had to give the message just the week before in Dublin.. and I dont mind preparing a talk, but I really lost all confidence when speaking it out. Its true that we are our own worst critics. I expect nothing short of perfection from myself in alot of areas and it is quite the process letting that go. I am just so thankful for the words of truth and wisdom spoken to me from my friends here. I am simply not allowed to talk about myself that way. They hold me accountable and give me the strength when I feel weak. Once again I say it is an amazing feeling living in this community. God is slowly working with me in areas of my life that have been left untouched for so long. You know, the areas that are so surpressed and untouched that its so easy to ignore and focus on more obvious things? Well I guess this is what soul surgery feels like. But the thing is.. it doesnt hurt. Not at all. It is so freeing! Youd think that youd get tired of continually feeling like you have no control and you just are grasping one thing when another slaps you in the face... but Im not at all. I love it. I love the process of it. I am no longer expecting to HAVE it. or to GET it. I can analyze my thoughts for days and I can pinpoint sins and behaviour patterns and all that.. and thats fine to do sometimes.. but the most important part of all this is the love. The action of love. Thats a little bit of what I spoke about on Sunday.. about how the greatest of the commandments is to LOVE God and LOVE people and that love is also the greatest GIFT we have to offer.. annnd that in the Great Commission the bottom line is to GO and TEACH my new disciples to obey my commands.. soo to teach them to love?

We were learning about the Kingdom of God this week in lectures annd well it was really not what I was expecting. I was pleasantly surprised. I wont go into detail about what it was about... beccause I think Im still processing that. I got alot of little bits of information though. And alot of Him putting words to what I was already thinking. I love when that happens. I think Im at the point in my life now where I am aware that I cant stay in this state for very much longer. This is a very safe and controlled and loving environment where I am constantly being stretched and taught and encouraged and uplifted.. but I think I understand that I do need to see if this has worked... I need to see if these truths have made it down to every part of me. I need to be tempted and challenged and faced with mountains.. that is the best way to grow I do believe. I am ready for that next part of my life.. maybe not fully prepared once again, but ready to give it a go. And only because I KNOW that God has got my back - well actually he's got a whole lot more than that! annd I KNOW that I will fail. Like I said.. this is a journey and I am no longer impatiently waiting til I have it. It doesnt matter that I dont have all my theologies worked out and all my answers carefully lined up and all my resistant techniques for all the temptations of the world. I am just glad that I get to be living this all out.

ANNND I am very very excited for India. we leave in less than a month! Wowza. Today we had a day off so we could work on all the little details that have built up to do for this trip. I have to do stuff for fundraising still, and look for luggage that is easier to take to India, and go to the doctors for vaccinations etc. And theres all the memory-making things that we are trying to get in before we split up into two groups. Weve got a birthday party this weekend, and for Vday on sat we cooked a nice meal for the guys and had a valentines party. We are all painfully aware that our time is coming to and end all together, so we are trying to get as much in as possible. SO, Im off to go work on that never ending list of mine. Blessings to all.

a letter

In a month our group here is going to split up and head to our individual places for the second phase of our DTS. Our team of 6 is heading to India for about 10 weeks. We've been doing a lot of preparing and planning for this trip ahead of time as we (the students) are going to be doing the majority of the work for it ourselves. We do have a correspondence in India currently who has been very helpful with preparation...and the list of opportunities for service just keeps growing. The latest news we have been receiving has been requests if we can do specific projects once in Delhi.. all these things which we would be happy to be helping with. The only problem is that our budget was not made to include any of these extra things and if we agreed to help we would also need to fund it ourselves and provide resources. These 'extra' projects that we have been hearing about include painting a clinic and a primary school, working with Mercy Ministries in their clinics, and in Orphanages with their children projects. We need the finances for resources like paint and paint supplies, medical supplies, as well as shipping supplies as we have some being donated to us, Chilren's art supplies (things like coloring books, craft supplies, face paints). On top of these resources needed we also would like to be able to help the specific organizations and individuals we will be working with there. We only have first names so far of the people we will be working with - Siby, Namkha, Alex and Simon are all working with the Jamia University students and Esther and Julius are heading up the Mercy Minstries in the slums of Delhi (with 13-16 others working with them). Because of the delicacy of their relationships, these people are not working under the title of any specific organization, besides the Mercy Ministries, but they are affiliated with YWAM. We want to go with financial support and resources to bless these people as well as with our hands and hearts. But, like I said, as these things were not in our original budget, we do not have the money for this now. We are asking for your help in this. If you and some others wanted to get together and as a group support a specific project ( like the paintings of the schools ) or if you personally feel like you want to help support any of this work that is being done in India, you can contact me or my family and we can go from there. We would prefer to be able to take money with us and buy supplies as necessary once there, to save room in our luggage and to help the economy there, so the best way to help in this would be to write cheques or give cash - and if you want a tax refund for the cheque it needs to be made out to YWAM Belfast, and sent as soon as possible as we are leaving in a month! Please feel free to ask me any questions and I will try my best to find the answer and get back to you.

Again, I stress the urgency of this. Please help spread the word. These funds we will be collecting is not for OUR group, but to aid the work that is already being done there. It is so that we will be able to do more than we originally intended, to give help where it is desperately needed.

Thank you!

JENNIFER VOLKMAN