Anticipation Grows

Sitting here in my basement, it's just a normal "Saturday" morning for me. The only difference is the huge mound of clothes and such behind me waiting to be packed oh so neatly into my suitcase. It hit me this morning while showering how weird it is to be leaving for a year, without my family. If anyone knows me... they know that family comes first. I love my family and brag about them constantly. I claim to be fiercely independent but I guess it has never really been put to the test. (Im really excited for that!)

Saying that, I do feel like I am ready to go. I want to discover all the answers to all the questions Ive been getting asked. The hardest part is the act of leaving... but that is the act of faith God has called of me. (and perhaps of all his children...?)

ANYWAY, I strongly believe in the power of prayer, so in order for you to hold me up in that you will need as much information as I can give you. (Which is not much actually.) I will be leaving for Belfast, Ireland on October 31st (TOMORROW!), and picked up by someone from the leadership team at the airport. School starts up right away Monday, November 3. I am not entirely sure of the school setting, but I have heard that there are many lectures. There are also many weekend trips and day trips where we will be practicing what we are learning. The focus of my DTS is reconciliation and our goal is to reconcile God’s children together and with Him. Specific topics we will be studying include Biblical World View, Evangelism and Missions, the Cost of Discipleship, God’s parenthood, Reconciliation and Justice, and more. In Belfast the lecture and local outreach phase is 5 months and the cross-cultural outreach is 2. Once we are together as a team we will be praying about where our outreach should be, but typically it is somewhere in Africa or the Middle East. There will be approximately 24 students from all over the world coming to learn and grow together, none of who I know yet.

I am expecting that this trip is going to radically change my life. I am not completely prepared for everything that I am sure I will experience, but I do however feel ready like I said. I know that God wants to teach me and show me things that I cannot see here. I am anticipating struggles – things like homesickness and differences of views – but I am convinced to face everything head on with my motivation coming from someone bigger than myself. I want to be stretched and challenged. I don’t want this to be an easy task that I can succeed in. Because I am looking for and anticipating such a radical year I am all the more grateful for your prayers. Pray for protection, for strength and for boldness. Pray for direction and for wisdom. I want all walls to be broken down and to come home with a raw Christianity and a simple but bold purpose. I do not want to live an average life, and this is my first step in that direction.

All My Love

So much. And thats All.

First I need to say that for everyone who will be reading this blog, I will not be holding back or trying to make it sound pretty. This is raw, this is real. If you care enough to keep updated on me and my adventure while I am gone then I would hope that you already know my passions. If not, I hope that you learn who I am through my words.

So, to make it more clear, I love Jesus Christ and He is the reason that I am leaving. I want to experience, and I want to grow. I am going into this trip with high expectations of Him because I believe that when you seek, you find. I will find what I am looking for BECAUSE I am looking and yearning for it.

I really wasnt going to explain it all again but there you go. There is alot more on why Im going and what I am expecting from it but Im sure that you have or will hear it from me directly before I leave. What I have NOT been expecting is how entirely overwhelmed I feel already. Im LEAVING. They say that death in the family and moving are the two proven most stressful situations in life. I believe it. Ive been through it before - KY was actually the exact amount of time that this trip will be - but this time I cant say with all certainty that I will be back. In fact, I am going with the mindset that I am moving. And, like I said before... it is overwhelming! I have so much on my heart, not to mention in my HEAD trying to get everything ready and lined up. I am having a hard time keeping it all together... most likely because I feel like I dont even have the time to breathe! Let alone have the conversative relationship that I crave with my Father, with my Rock. I need prayer already, and I havent even left. I truly want to see you ALL before I leave and have one last conversation, and one last laugh. But believe me when I say that it is stressful! It doesnt mean I love you or value you any less. And it doesnt mean that you are any less important to me if I am having trouble fitting you in... because thats what its like for every one of you! know that I need to take that time to breathe, and to rest with Jesus before I leave or else Im going to get on that plane on Halloween and not even realize that the whirlwind ended and Im gone. I need to be in the right headplace and have the right heart for this adventure. I refuse to come back unchanged. ----- Oh yeah... and if you didnt know this about me either... Im a rambler. It cant be helped, sorry! So, if you knew me well enough that none of the above was a surprise, then I already miss you and thank God for your support and encouragement in my life. If you didnt know that I am this passionate about Jesus, and are surprised by my words, then I am sorry I was not more real with you and probably wish for more time with you. If you dont know me well enough to care to read all my thoughts then I suggest you check out my facebook group that I will update once in a blue moon (once created). ------Even in the midst of all my stress, I still thank God for each and every moment here with you. I have had some of the most meaningful and honest conversations over the past few weeks. And I truly feel loved as well as feel the extent of the love I have for you. I dont know if I will be coming back to Calgary to live or not, but I thank you for all that you have made it for me. I officially have two weeks now. Two weeks to Breathe; Two weeks to Be; Two weeks til its Just the Beginning... all over again. I am excited.