to everyone.

This will be my final blog written from Belfast, Northern Ireland. I cant believe it! Tomorrow I am off to India! We are packed, and today we spent literally ALL day cleaning the entire house (washing the walls even.. it was intense). We are taking the midnight bus tomorrow to Dublin and flying in at 6 in the morning from there. meaning, we will get zero sleep tomorrow night. We start off in India the first couple days just getting adjusted and buying new clothes and the like. Then we buckle down. Working in the clinics in the slums - with feeding and weighing programs - and in the universities - teaching classes on tourism of our countries and builing relationships - in orphanages and schools - painting and playing with the kids - and with the street kids ministry on saturdays. I want to say it again THANK YOU to you all who helped with raising funds for this trip. We had enough money come in for our 'extra', which was the video camera, and we will be sending videos homeward bound as often as we can. We would love to be able to show you exactly where your money went. ( We have already tested the camera out; filming the boys trying the catch and kill the mouse in our kitchen! no success yet... )

I also wanted to tell everyone that I will be cutting down considerable on correspondence (mainly from facebook) while Im gone. Partially because Im not sure how much internet time we will have, but also because I want to remain focused while there and really spend my time differently than I typically do. I want it to be different, because I want to be changed thoroughly! I will say that I will continue writing blogs so keep checking this. And I never refuse updates from anyone, in fact I welcome them. Please remember to keep us all in your prayers in this time. We are entering into unknown grounds. (and of course, I am excited for that reason!)

So for now I say goodbye. Next time you hear from me it will be from the land of the Indians. Love to you all and Blessings.

and here we go

It interesting.. today I made the comment that I feel that I have come back around full circle in my thoughts and my passions.. but not like Ive gone backward at all. Let me try that again. I started out with this DTS saying that I wanted a raw christianity. The months leading up to this time I was talking and dreaming big. I have alot of passion, and I just wanted to get out into the world and DO and ACT and BE. I wanted to make an impact, big or small... and live my life as if I believe that Jesus' words are true. I was battling with how to make that all come to fruition in my life and in the church where I life, etc. And I needed to go through a time here of learning and growing, especially in the area of community and interdependence. But really, I needed all of it. Ive learned SO MUCH, and now Im at the same place, but with all my foundations much more secure than they were. Does that make sense? I feel SO ready to get out and DO something. Ive got ideas coming out of my ears! There is nothing in me that wants anything to do with a sensible and practical life. If Im not living out for Jesus than I see no point in it! Im ready to make some radical changes. Im done with sitting and learning (for now.. but surely not forever) and ready for the action - even if that looks like cleaning up after someone else for weeks on end. I just want to try.

So this week, if you cant tell, we are learning about missions and evangelism. But really its been more of risk taking and faith and perserverence. I like it. And the week before was on team building, which is really good as we prepare to leave for India. We did some self awareness stuff and conflict handling stuff. I really enjoyed taking a deeper look into all that.. and getting a better understanding of the whys behind us all. It turns out that according to the Myers Briggs test, there are four of us on the DTS with the same preferences in our personalities. And we all get along really well!

We officially have two weeks left here.. One week of lectures and one of final preparations! I cant believe it! Most of the work I will be taking on in India will have to be done once in india.. there is not a TON of prep work I can do. So I am keeping myself very busy with everything else! Doing alot of encouragments and cards and planning aton of different kinds of things. We are all trying our hardest to make the most of our final weeks all together with different meals planned and parties and get togethers.. and of course there are alot of final blessings that people are creating to bless one another. I must go now.. but please continue to pray that everything for our trips go smoothly. I will try to update you again before leaving.

lovelove

a lesson in teaching.

I am evermore so grateful for the friends I have surrounding me here on this school. The mixture of encouragement (so much sometimes that it is all I can do to surpress the tears and say a simple thank you) and the challenges they give. My friends speak truth. Because they know me and they see even the things I try to hide and try to deny. You really cant hide that well when you are spending your entire existance with the same small amount of people for all this time. These people here know me quite well, and still they love me. Its a really cool feeling. I need to remember this feeling. I need to remember that this TIMES a LOT is how GOD thinks of me. He doesnt just love me because Hes God and its His character. He actually LIKES me. And wants to be around me. where this all came from is because this week we got together and had to plan a church service in a hour.. and it just ended up that Cortney and I were left with delivering the message. Writing a sermon. OH MAN. That is what I said. soo I agreed with alot of hesitancy and loads of self doubt. I already had to give the message just the week before in Dublin.. and I dont mind preparing a talk, but I really lost all confidence when speaking it out. Its true that we are our own worst critics. I expect nothing short of perfection from myself in alot of areas and it is quite the process letting that go. I am just so thankful for the words of truth and wisdom spoken to me from my friends here. I am simply not allowed to talk about myself that way. They hold me accountable and give me the strength when I feel weak. Once again I say it is an amazing feeling living in this community. God is slowly working with me in areas of my life that have been left untouched for so long. You know, the areas that are so surpressed and untouched that its so easy to ignore and focus on more obvious things? Well I guess this is what soul surgery feels like. But the thing is.. it doesnt hurt. Not at all. It is so freeing! Youd think that youd get tired of continually feeling like you have no control and you just are grasping one thing when another slaps you in the face... but Im not at all. I love it. I love the process of it. I am no longer expecting to HAVE it. or to GET it. I can analyze my thoughts for days and I can pinpoint sins and behaviour patterns and all that.. and thats fine to do sometimes.. but the most important part of all this is the love. The action of love. Thats a little bit of what I spoke about on Sunday.. about how the greatest of the commandments is to LOVE God and LOVE people and that love is also the greatest GIFT we have to offer.. annnd that in the Great Commission the bottom line is to GO and TEACH my new disciples to obey my commands.. soo to teach them to love?

We were learning about the Kingdom of God this week in lectures annd well it was really not what I was expecting. I was pleasantly surprised. I wont go into detail about what it was about... beccause I think Im still processing that. I got alot of little bits of information though. And alot of Him putting words to what I was already thinking. I love when that happens. I think Im at the point in my life now where I am aware that I cant stay in this state for very much longer. This is a very safe and controlled and loving environment where I am constantly being stretched and taught and encouraged and uplifted.. but I think I understand that I do need to see if this has worked... I need to see if these truths have made it down to every part of me. I need to be tempted and challenged and faced with mountains.. that is the best way to grow I do believe. I am ready for that next part of my life.. maybe not fully prepared once again, but ready to give it a go. And only because I KNOW that God has got my back - well actually he's got a whole lot more than that! annd I KNOW that I will fail. Like I said.. this is a journey and I am no longer impatiently waiting til I have it. It doesnt matter that I dont have all my theologies worked out and all my answers carefully lined up and all my resistant techniques for all the temptations of the world. I am just glad that I get to be living this all out.

ANNND I am very very excited for India. we leave in less than a month! Wowza. Today we had a day off so we could work on all the little details that have built up to do for this trip. I have to do stuff for fundraising still, and look for luggage that is easier to take to India, and go to the doctors for vaccinations etc. And theres all the memory-making things that we are trying to get in before we split up into two groups. Weve got a birthday party this weekend, and for Vday on sat we cooked a nice meal for the guys and had a valentines party. We are all painfully aware that our time is coming to and end all together, so we are trying to get as much in as possible. SO, Im off to go work on that never ending list of mine. Blessings to all.

a letter

In a month our group here is going to split up and head to our individual places for the second phase of our DTS. Our team of 6 is heading to India for about 10 weeks. We've been doing a lot of preparing and planning for this trip ahead of time as we (the students) are going to be doing the majority of the work for it ourselves. We do have a correspondence in India currently who has been very helpful with preparation...and the list of opportunities for service just keeps growing. The latest news we have been receiving has been requests if we can do specific projects once in Delhi.. all these things which we would be happy to be helping with. The only problem is that our budget was not made to include any of these extra things and if we agreed to help we would also need to fund it ourselves and provide resources. These 'extra' projects that we have been hearing about include painting a clinic and a primary school, working with Mercy Ministries in their clinics, and in Orphanages with their children projects. We need the finances for resources like paint and paint supplies, medical supplies, as well as shipping supplies as we have some being donated to us, Chilren's art supplies (things like coloring books, craft supplies, face paints). On top of these resources needed we also would like to be able to help the specific organizations and individuals we will be working with there. We only have first names so far of the people we will be working with - Siby, Namkha, Alex and Simon are all working with the Jamia University students and Esther and Julius are heading up the Mercy Minstries in the slums of Delhi (with 13-16 others working with them). Because of the delicacy of their relationships, these people are not working under the title of any specific organization, besides the Mercy Ministries, but they are affiliated with YWAM. We want to go with financial support and resources to bless these people as well as with our hands and hearts. But, like I said, as these things were not in our original budget, we do not have the money for this now. We are asking for your help in this. If you and some others wanted to get together and as a group support a specific project ( like the paintings of the schools ) or if you personally feel like you want to help support any of this work that is being done in India, you can contact me or my family and we can go from there. We would prefer to be able to take money with us and buy supplies as necessary once there, to save room in our luggage and to help the economy there, so the best way to help in this would be to write cheques or give cash - and if you want a tax refund for the cheque it needs to be made out to YWAM Belfast, and sent as soon as possible as we are leaving in a month! Please feel free to ask me any questions and I will try my best to find the answer and get back to you.

Again, I stress the urgency of this. Please help spread the word. These funds we will be collecting is not for OUR group, but to aid the work that is already being done there. It is so that we will be able to do more than we originally intended, to give help where it is desperately needed.

Thank you!

JENNIFER VOLKMAN

Amidst the Whirlwind

I cant even remember the last email or blog Ive written! I know it hasnt been THAT long, but it really does feel like it. Somehow things have been getting even more busy around here. Now that outreach preperation is in full swing we are getting less and less free time and more 'homework'. I really like it though. We have to take this seriously, its not just an experience here that we will be done with in four months. I am getting life skills here that I will be using the rest of my life.. and I think it is especially good that I still need to make the concious effort to spend time with God and grow with Him individually.. Its not all just done for me. It would be easy to get caught up with the doing here annd the relationships even, but I have to constantly remind myself that I need that personal self control and discipline especially if I want this to maintain after leaving this environment.

So a little update on my life here.. Work duties have switched so now instead of groceries I am cleaning/organizing the office with Carolyn - which is really nice to get to know her before India as we are eachothers one-on-one there. So twice a week we go and clean the kitchen or take the rubbish out or whatever needs to be done. Because we have access to internet there and photocopiers we are also given some tasks for India to help Lidia out.. I like to be included in all the prep and behind the scenes stuff as well.. I feel like Im really getting an idea of all it takes to plan a trip like this. So that happens mondays and thursdays. On Tuesday I still cook - now with steph (we made an awesome pasta dish last this week, mom you will be glad to know that I am getting aLOT more confident in the kitchen!) Wed we now have outreach prep for two hours in the afternoon, and then after dinner I have local outreach at the youth club with Cortney. Thurs morn I have Breakfast Club with Isaac - serving breakfast at a primary school. And friday I have cleanup after lunch and after the community meal with all YWAM staff and friends.

This week I was put in charge with Brian to lead a time (an hour and a half) of intercession on India, so we had to research for that... it went well I felt. And in a couple weeks time I am leading a time of worship and devotional with Isaac for the India team. This next week we are all going down to Dublin! for a week of outreach (that word is everywhere!) and I am in charge of transportation with Jack. Team Jack and Jen! We plan on coming up with some ridiculous games for people to play on the trains or something. So Megan and Nosipho are really the only two that I am not really doing anything with right now! that is just an idea of how busy we are.. Then there are the journals and books to read and anything additional.. LIKE this week we had the task to write a psalm everynight, then read it out to the class the next day. It was really neat. When you write something so honest and personal to God and have the chance to share that with people who are walking along side you.. its a cool experience.

This week of lectures was on worship. It was a really strange week for me really. It was a full torent of emotions. Over all I experienced this week though, the highs and the lows.. the one thing that really rang true for me all week was that worship does not depend on me and my circumstance, but it is about praising the God who does not change, and the comfort that comes from that. AND the amazing truth that God carries me when Im at my lowest and often it is in the form of friends and family around me. I really felt the love of the community in a fresh way this week as I was going through a hard time, and in return, when I was filled afresh with the living joy, I was able to return that love and hold up my friends too. The support is so necessary. I am realizing that more and more. When I was too weak to hold my head up, my friends carried me through. it was beautiful. I absolutely love living in this community, and want to build up/experience that same sense of community wherever I am. As a group we went through a bit of a weird week too.. but all the challenges just seem to make us stronger and more united. As we prayed for India on Thursday we got the picture that there was a door blocking the country to us and the key was in our unity - but that we have to guard that because it is the weapon that will be most strongly attacked.

I have been getting many ideas over the past few weeks of things that I want to DO once I get home and I am really excited to take these steps. I believe that I really am getting equiped here. Most of you have probably been apart of my ideas of what I want to do and see. In calgary and throughout this world. My dreams are big, and I want to inspire others to dream as well.

Im going to end on that note. Things are crazy here and there always seems like there is a conversation that needs to happen or something that needs to be written. Every once and awhile I love doing absolutely nothing that I am obligated to do. That is going to be my day tomorrow. (and was my weekend away last weekend in Newcastle.) Please continue to pray, especially for strength against any spiritual attacks. And for the continued unity of our house. I love you all. You are so precious to me, more and more in fact! Blessings.

In addition and Moreso

So to add to the last post.. Its been another week and therefor another meeting about India. In addition to the list of jobs I already have Ive also been assigned the MINISTER OF FUN - which is a role Ive seemed to pick up since being here..I really dont mind it! `Basically it means that any days out we want to plan I will be planning. Like going to the Taj Mahal. And riding an elephant. Those kinds of things. ALSO I am in charge (with Lidia, our leader) to plan out and arrange all the invites we are expecting to receive. Our ministry in mainly connecting with peoplé soo we are expecting to get invited to manyy meals and tea times.. and I will have to organize when and where. I really think that all my responsibilities have been given to me for a specific purpose. I think that thses are the things that I need to do and to practice, because these will be things I will need for this next stage of my life. It suits my personality perfectly... organizing and planning and having fun and playing.. not to mention doing relationship instead of preaching.. it is so much more ME... but still areas that I need to grow and learn and practice. It will be building on mz strengths. We are still getting word back about culture and where we will be staying actually. We are focusing right now on building up our team and finding our roles.. unity. And on ´getting our visas for India. I would appreciate prayer too that there arent any more vaccinations that I will be needing that arent covered here... Because money for that will be coming out of my own pocket. We are in the process of registering for a UK Health Card annd if accepted for that, there are a certain amount of vaccinations that are covered under that card. Im just waiting to hear back from that.

In other news, this past weekend we had our first real practice since ´being here. We helped organize and run a conference for ýouth... There are a couple Christian communites that gather évery year or something and this year we were asked to participate with the youth. My team was in charge of the 12 to 18 year olds.. we had about 20 kids and there were 6 of us. I was (again) the Minister of Fun and created the games and got the kids to participate and such. We alll helped with the teaching then too annd Split up and led different small group sessions. I MISS LEADING A SMALL GROUP!! The girls I had were about the age of my girls at home that I was helping to lead, annd it really reminded me of them. I never even realized that I had been learning and growing in that area really until being thrown into a different group. I really enjoy that setting of discipleship and teaching, way more than standing up in front and talking. I love the communication. It was probably the third time since being here that I felt like I was back at home.. The first when i was down in Newcastle with a family, and went to a yuothgroup there (all youth groups have the same feel) annd the second when I babysat for a family here!! It was just like I was back at home doing what I love to do. And what is amazing is taht all these skills that I now have were all picked up on just doing what I love to do in my church. Serving in promiseland (sunday school) and youth. I guess all along God was preparing me... and I am so thankful!

This past week in lectures we learned about sin and the cross..but the emphasis was definately moreso about giving life. Meeting people in their 'hell' and bringing light. Being Jesus to people and by that to reintroduce people to themselves... as they were intended to be. Pretty much it was what I already know and our lecturer just was able to put mz thoughts into beautiful words. I want to live a life of adding color to people's lives. I want to pour out love, and that is it. I am definately abandining all notions of trying to become all theological and trying to understand and to have all the answers. I just want to share in this love. (dont get me wrong though, I still very much so think that we do need to love God with our minds... Im just sick of people getting caught up on the dos and the donts and the trivial matters instead of the heart matters.) None of this was new for me... Its what I was saying before leaving even... it was just worded so beautifullý over the week.

Something I definately HAVE learned - not just in my head but in my heart as well - is the importance of community. People around me to edify and encourage me and to support me and maybe to point out my irrationalities and mý impatience. To grow with. AND to have a place that receives people with welcome arms. And sends people out. I cant do this on my own. How exciting too to have a place to infect people you love with your passion! That reminds me... all the words that describe what Im going through, experiencing, and learning right now begin with P. It is kind of funny. PASSION, perserverence, purpose, practice, prayer, patience, Pursue, promise, planning... all very exciting. Ive discovered that I have such a passion for getting people to dream big and to pursue their passions. to enpower people to do. I love that idea.

I hope to get some pictures up on facebook soon. So check it out... Thanks for listening! OH something else just quick... it has been overwhelming the amount of love and joy that ALL of us in óur family has been expereincing. We have bonded so closely and feel such a strong sense of love to one another. I think.. this is me putting words into Gods mouth... that the way we are living and learning is making God happy. It sounds childish, but I really think He is blessíng us. We are learning what true community feeels like and I dont know how I could ever go back! good things. good things.

ps. Im using a GERMAN computer to write this and the keyboard is slightly different so sorry about all the spelling errors.

India Update!

So my break was great. I had a good mix of rest and of adventure, went to a few different places on the island and was also streched a great deal by God. He revealed yet another area in my life that needs repentence and change and it is a journey that has only just begun (and will be difficult definately) but I know that all in all I am becoming the woman that God intended me to be.



Now we are halfway into the week learning about the Holy Spirit. How exciting! I dont have the time to explore that here now, but hopefully soon I will get to come back to elaborate...



Today we just had our first outreach meeting.. talking about INDIA! I am soo looking forward to this. So our team consists of Lydia as the leader and Brian, Isaac, Carolyn, and Cortney as the other team members with me. We will be spending the majority of our time in Dehli and a little in Nuni (?). As a team we each have different roles that we will be filling for the practical side of doing outreach.. things like the budget, childrens programs, worship, and team meetings.... MY role that Ive been given is a blend of alot! Basically I will be taking care of all the loose ends that come up. Ill be creating the rotas for chores and cooking, and making the menu, doing the shopping, arranging the transportation (taxis and buses mainly) and anything else that needs to be done. I guess like the orangizer of the team? As well as making some sort of Adult Program, or planning that. So I will be delegating who would be preaching or who would be sharing their testimony and what the structure would look like for any Adult service we would have. We dont know yet what kinds of things we will be doing or who we will be working with, so that is to come. Alot of it is last minute though so we will prepare as much as possible beforehand. Ive been asking God to strech me and challenge me, and I really feel like that is what He has got in mind.

-the computer cut me off short that time... I will just post this as it is (I wrote it about a week and a half ago..)