MAN alive. I do not know how I am going to survive seven months of this trip! Already, in the past like three days I have been shaken, torn up, slapped in the face, overwhelmed, and completely floored by God. we are in the process of learning about God's love and his Parenthood and essentially his character. And its unreal. I can TASTE Gods love it is so tangible. I feel like already I have been so broken - and I know there is much more to come! - and Ive been shown how weak I am physically and spiritually when God is not in the picture, but then how alive and real and STRONG I can be through His Love and His Grace. Its through his love that I get my strength. Its my entire Identity. All I want to do is still and soak in his amazing love, but at the same time I cant contain it. I feel for the first time perhaps the NEED to share this, because I feel I will explode if I do not. I simply cannot contain all this for just me. I want everyone I know to feel loved the way I feel it now. My heart aches for you back home, because I so want to be there with you and love you with everything in me. But I am also learning the imense power that God has given us to be able to intercede. I am praying for YOU because God has placed a burden in my heart for you.. to experience his love. Its that simple. ... maybe.... Im also finally connecting some of the dots of my life. Some of my interests and gifts and passions are finally coming together and making sense.. and I have patience that in time more and more will be revealed to me. Im learning about Intercession and what that is and looks like, and also how to intercede (praying on behalf of another). One thing that I know is that this here is a safe environment to push myself and discover not only God my Father and Creator, but who he has made me. This is all rather rushed so Im not sure how much sense it is making. But Im learning and exploring and it is all so good. My spirit is soaring.
I am also quite enjoying the challenges of living in a community. It is making me depend on those around me which is great for my pride. It is amazing to be surrounded by people who will challenge your thinking but who essentially believe what you believe. We pray together often. We worship together often. We discuss constantly. It is such an amzing environment for growth. I havent yet had any problems like needing my own space or whatever.. I tend to be able to go into my own world while still be surrounded by people so thats probably why. We are very very busy with lectures and chores and outreach activities.. and soon we will be getting books to read as well. The temperature is something that is not going to change (until spring I suppose) so we are usually quite cold - esp in the classroom. I think my muscles dont know how to relax anymore.. But I am trying to train my body to wear less so that when I DO put on another sweater, I actually notice the difference. The food so far has been fantastic. Last night I cooked with Francis (one of the Staff living with us) while listening to some regae. It was delicious. haha. The shopping is a challenge because we have such a strict budget. And I hate being the bearer of bad news.. like milk is only for tea and cereal.. not for drinking.. and fruit has to be portioned.. and snacking has to be done on your own budget.. But its alright. This is a good skill to learn. Ummmm the lectures are great so far. We have a time of worship in the morning, then something different for an hour or so.. then lectures until lunch and sometimes after lunch as well. So its alot of listening.. but its good stuff. The evenings we usually spend writing or reading or discussing.. we really havent gone out and seen much! I am still feeling very tired daily, probably because Im still sick (ive had a sinus cold for about five days I think) And because my computer time is so far and in between I am trying to write more letters.. but even those are slow going because of the constant conversations that come up. Times up now for today.. so I will try and continue with these updates and thoughts at a later date! Thank you for all your updates and emails.. I am reading them even when I dont get the chance to respond. I send my love. And blessings. My prayer is that YOU will continue to seek God as well. We are all on an exciting journey..
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